Monday, 29 October 2007

The daft rules about smoking

Today's first period was replaced with a lesson with your form tutor about everyone's favourite Temple Moor fail: the positive discipline system. We've mentioned its inadequacies, stupidities and problems previously in the blog, but today it was taken to a whole new level.

An alright match-the-offence-with-the-punishment exercise was given out and completed. It was relatively easy - but conflicted with the "pyramids". These pillars of positive discipline, mentioned in Year 11's morning assembly, guide pupils and teachers on what crime gives which punishment. For example, the yellow/orange "pyramid" (in quote marks because it's really a triangle, despite what teachers say) says unprovoked assault is a fixed term permanent exclusion. Yet the match-up sheet said it was a detention, isolation or exclusion, depending on the severity of the assault. Make up your minds!

Now let's move on to the smoking. Smoking earns you an instant isolation, according to the pyramid. That's actually quite soft for a punishment, seeing as smoking is against the law for most people in Temple Moor. According to today's match-up sheet, you can get a detention for being around people who are smoking. This seems far too harsh. Is it sensible to punish someone for being in the wrong place and the wrong time? Furthermore, it's punishment for who your friends are. If anything, you should be awarded for not smoking if your friends are: defiance of peer pressure is surely a good thing!

One form tutor remarked "we know where people smoke, so just stay away". At first, this seems like sensible advice, until you realise this: the school knows people smoke and knows where. This raises the troubling question of why the school doesn't stop it happening. It's against the law, so Temple Moor is really stopping the law taking effect! What sort of example is this to its thousands of students?

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Who cares about our Future?

"Who cares about our Future? Tell us most about how you KO'd Robbie Savage!"

We've had a motivational speech about our future, with former football referee Matt Messias.

As year 11s will now no doubt all ready know, Matt is most famous for this scene here where he knocks down Blackburn's Robbie Savage.

Matt's main purpose was to get across the school's "aim higher programme". Thinking that a ref would be "down" with the students, they set forth and got Matt to do a speech. Whether it worked, nobody can really tell, but the assembly he gave wont be forgotten any time soon.

After, he prepared to do one hour sessions with two groups for the next two periods. As foreseen, when he asked if anyone had any questions, he was stricken by questions to do with his accident with Robbie Savage. The lessons themselves required pupils to write about what they'd like to do in the future. But hardly any pupils took this seriously despite the seriousness of the topic.
At the end of the lessons, Matt put on a video that was a montage of sporting achievements to Eminem's Lose Yourself. However the video also couldn't be taken seriously because of the amount of innuendos in it. Apparently we must help each other as a team, and the better we do, the more inches to success we are. And we must take the inches off others to survive.

Agreed, the lesson was worth skipping the rubbish our teachers already had cooked up for us. And to make things even better, one Templar managed to get Matt's autograph. A day well spent.

3 Subjects, 3 Teachers...right?


We at Templar Truths have just discovered how Year 7 kids are being taught for History, Geography and another subject (RE, we assume, it being the only other "Humanities" lesson) - by the same teacher!

Your average Geography teacher - and I'm not, for once, being offensive here - probably knows nothing about Henry VIII besides his six wives, nor do they really know about Native Americans. They're just not really useful for history lessons, are they? And while they can probably tell Jesus from Mohammed, it's hardly likely they know vast amounts about RE. Which all makes you wonder...why are they teaching it?

Thankfully, it's only Year 7 students, as far as we know. So it's not essential for any exams...ever. You don't do a History SAT or cover any of these topics in GCSE, so at least their education isn't too impaired.

Monday, 15 October 2007

Aim Higher and more RAG

As my first post on here for a while (well, since Halo 3 came out), I'll be discussing, or better to put it, ranting about the "Aim Higher" system implemented by the schools fascist administration. The idea behind Aim Higher is to bludger students with hour after hour of "optional" school work. I put the word "optional" in quote tags because that's how these lessons are advertised across, the reality being much more different - or so it seems to us. Other lessons include staying over during the holidays which could be better spent trying to eat broken glass rather than doing coursework.
As another Templar put it, the school is not trying to teach us, but make us into exam monkeys.

Second of all, there is a new development with the RAG system that has been discussed more than once here before. The school administration has taken a leaf out of Nazi German's "Buch" and is now labeling all pupils by colour. You guessed it. Red, amber and Green. Pupils will be awarded Green if they're on target over all. Amber if they are under achieving in some areas, and Red if they are doing not as expected. Of course, the school's first choice of punishment would be firing squad, but when the school found out that was now illegal, instead pupils under achieving wont get any study leaves instead.

How do you feel about either of the new "punishments" the school's implemented? Post a comment or sign up and make your own posts.

Thursday, 11 October 2007

How can you fail at stapling?

Temple Moor has sunk to brand new low. Not being able to staple properly. I know it's more complex than paperclipping - which, unlike Microsoft Office, Temple Moor have done well - but it's not rocket science.

Five sheets of squared paper. Four are double-sided. And, by the way, it's for coursework where everything counts. You'd think, then, that the Temple Moor resident stapler could staple the sheets together with ease. But no. The page order goes like this: 1, 2, 4, 3, 6, 5, 8, 7, 9. Apart from the first two pages (which is impossible to get wrong seeing as they're on the same sheet of paper), everything else is butchered and wrong.

Temple Moor really can fail at everything.

Tuesday, 9 October 2007

SNAFU With Computers

In T5, Temple Moor's braindead ideasmen decided that all the computer CPUs should be housed in two corners of the classroom, behind a wooden board. Clever, huh? This restricts pupils' control over their computers. Sure, the "power" button on the keyboard can turn it off - but you must get back up to turn it on. USB ports are available, too. But what if you needed to plug in headphones or something like that? Well, tough. But Temple Moor's stuck with this mad method, and now it's cost them and pupils.

Half of T5's computers today were inactive and not working. Why? We weren't told (if you know, stick it in the comments, please) - but we suspect there was a roof leak and all the CPUs are now internally fried and won't run. Either that or something overheated, causing them all to break. Way to go TMHS!

It just goes to show that the only original ideas at Temple Moor are the ones that fail.

Friday, 5 October 2007

Jeans For Genes? Not At TMHS

Jeans For Genes Day - held on the first Friday of October (today) - is a day when everyone is encouraged to throw out the dress code and wear jeans. Then donate £1 or £2 to help children with genetic disorders.

It sounds like a worthy cause, doesn't it? And it is. But of course, Temple Moor staff quake at the thought of non-uniform days, so wearing jeans is a no-go area. And they proved that today by not celebrating this. It's either down to ignorance or very possibly the fact that the school wouldn't get a penny out of the idea. And if it doesn't make profit, Temple Moor's not interested.

They've already demonstrated that they don't think the anniversary of 9/11 is worthy of a minute's silence, and now they're not even allowing children with genetic problems a chance. Way to go!

Thursday, 4 October 2007

"PD is unfair" says teacher

Kids have often remarked that the Positive Discipline system of stamps and credits is fatally flawed: less intelligent people get more stamps than higher sets. So far, these cries have been ignored, but it seems like one teacher is agreeing - and it's not hard to see why.

It's a well-known fact that if you're in set B4 for Maths, saying "x is 14" even when it isn't will earn you a stamp or three, for trying. Say it in A1 and you're more likely to be told you're wrong, leaving you wondering what x really is. And you can't ask for stamps, because that's just wrong.

We at Templar Truths have also noticed that even when teachers do give out stamps, it's wildly inconsistent. Some teachers will give you a stamp for handing in homework; others will do only if you've done it well. This was particularly noted by the teacher who said it is "unfair" and "wrong".

What does this mean, then? Stamps and credits are a stupid idea, basically. They're given out differently by teachers, making them random and not uniform. Unless you're in a top set, where you just won't get any - even though you're the one who will make the school's statistics look good. Fairness? Temple Moor doesn't know the meaning of the word!

For the love of... ART?!

Another failing has reached my attention - mainly since I was stuck in the thick of it, just days ago. Art teachers, hardly surprising but worth mentioning, are idiots. The lot of them. Hell, I bet they don't even know the first thing about the subject.

It's like the old saying - "If you can't do anything else, teach. If you can't do that, teach P.E. And if you can't cope with that either, teach Art."

Due to some tool screwing up the timetabling, Year 11s have been forced to switch to a whole new Art teacher mid-way through a GCSE COURSE! How badly is that going to affect their grades?

From the evidence, VERY badly. Hardly anyone in this particular art glass is anywhere near a pass grade yet. Most are hovering around E/F/G grades. And when I say hardly anyone, that is no exaggeration. It is the majority of the class.

Granted, our new Art teacher couldn't really have done anything about our previous teacher's failings at her job. To be frank, she was useless in every meaning of the word. She broke people's art projects, took time off for illnesses which, as it appeared, didn't affect her a great deal (she came into school many days to "catch up with things", and she looked fine. But she insisted she couldn't teach us and apologized in the most shockingly un-meaningful way I have ever known.) and generally didn't know a great deal about Art in itself, or what our GCSE course entailed. Half the stuff which we allegedly "should've done" last year in Art wasn't even set for us at the time, which has played a major part in dragging everyone down.

But the new teacher isn't much better either. Only now, in October of our final year, just weeks away from our mock exams and a few months from our real exams, does she tell us how far behind we are. Why did she not tell us from what she could see of our previous work with our previous teacher? Because she doesn't have a clue what we did with our previous bloody teacher! So now, with barely time to turn things around, she tells us, and me specifically, that we're doing horribly. Nice timing.

What angered me even more, is that after taking in our sketchbooks, she clearly didn't look at them before compiling these reports on our progress. Half the stuff she claims I haven't done, I have - it's all in my book, not hard to find if you opened the damn thing.

I, personally, am taking a great deal of GCSEs. Far more than the majority of students. Since Year 10, I have worked toward the goal of passing each and every one of them. Being told that you've fallen behind almost irreperably given the time left is one f*cking huge blow.

Art teachers are idiots. They have failed their students. They have failed at their craft. I hate them all.

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Post-It Use #109

Fixing incorrect posters

The latest idea of some astronomers was to say "Pluto's no longer a planet". Now while this annoyed exam boards (yay!), it also annoyed physics teachers (that's bad!). And it happened to void every textbook and free Guardian poster in the school.

But help is at hand. Grab a Post-It note, scribble "Not a planet!" and an arrow on it and stick it onto a solar system poster to emphasise the fact that Pluto isn't a planet and, in a shock break of Temple Moor tradition, the school is wrong.

Stick to the science men!

Monday, 1 October 2007

Little Shop of Horrors

This year the school has chosen to put on the musical "Little Shop of Horrors", a brilliant stage show that focuses on a man eating plant

I haven't been able to get a full cast-list but I shall post the ones I know here:

  • Audrey - Fran Clarke
  • Seymour - David Mowbray
  • Audrey 2 - Matty Jackson
  • Ronette - Amy Oddy
  • Crystal - Kirsten Moore
  • Chiffon - Jess heald
  • Dentist - Stefan Mannion
  • Dentist's Assistant - Lauren Kerrigan
  • Man who wants clipping of plant at end - Mark Horbury (i think)
More info on the cast as i get it!

ALSO there are rumours that the school will be putting on High School Musical next year and even though we won't be here, this blog will. So I encourage future readers to boycott this monstrosity if it is ever perfomed at Temple Moor

Hellish, inhospitable working conditions? Just the usual at Temple Moor.

Ah, nearly a week without blogging. It's good to be back.

So, the title should say a lot of this for me. Hellish and inhospitable working conditions? What could I be talking about?

Two tales, both of which occured in today at one of the (allegedly) "Best Schools in the District" - following a lesson on the upper floors of the main school block, as the bell rang for break, the entire class flooded out into the corridor. It seemed unusually smoky for this time of day. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it... that's when it hit me. Why the hell is the corridor filled with mysterious wispy smoke?
Several theories emerged, some more logical than others.

1) Another mishap on the building site. It wouldn't surprise me in the least, but the question is, what could have caused the smoke? It didn't appear thick enough to be engine smoke from failing machinary, in which case, I don't see what else could have caused it.
2) A chemical spill. No, not another Chlorine Leak (although that's only a matter of time), but a small scale science block spillage. The chemicals must've reacted pretty nicely to make that much smoke though, making this thoery illogical - chemicals don't seem to react properly in most planned experiments, so why would it succeed via an accidental spillage?
3) Weed. Not the plant that takes over your garden, the weed that alters your perception of reality. Hint hint. Although I can't see anyone being that brazen about taking drugs in a school corridor, especially when it makes that much smoke.
4) This is my personal favourite. The return of Epic Fail Guy, and his epic fail experiments. Maybe he accidently concocted a lethal acid from an experiment involving nothing but straws and lime water. It wouldn't be unlike this particular teacher.

If none of the above theories prove true, then the smoke's origin may be forever unknown. Which isn't exactly encouraging.

Oh, and tale number two.

It can be heard from the Art Block. It can be heard from the Sixth Form Block. Heck, it can be heard from Outer Mongolia. It's the annoyingly, unneccessarily loud drilling equipment used by our amazing *cough!* polish immigrants workers. Woops, that should be "building specialists".

It makes lessons near the building site more interesting, but not for the right reasons. You can't just hear it, but for people near, you can feel it. Sure it's an excuse for not concentrating, but after a few minutes, it loses it's appeal and becomes damn annoying.

It may not sound like much, but for a high school, having abnormally smoky corridors and incessent drilling that shakes the buildings about isn't a good thing.

Expect more tales of woe soon, Templars.

PE Trip: What They Didn't Want You To Know

None of the Templar bloggers went on the PE trip, but we have an inside source who's decided to spill the beans on this disaster of a trip! The trip took place over the weekend, and was designed to let PE students have fun. However, it seems to have gone horribly wrong.

A certain pupil had his room "trashed" by the other pupils, and ended up being "bullied all weekend". Did the teachers step in and prevent this? Of course not, Temple Moor teachers never take any notice of anything, unless it involves chlorine. Or perhaps it's because teachers "were boozing" at night - in the presence of students, as well! Surely this isn't allowed? But it is: because the teachers make the rules.

Food is essential for exercise, it gives you energy to use. You'd think, then, that on a PE trip, food would be regarded highly. "Food was s***" said our inside source, reflecting the group consensus. And to add insult to injury, students had to make their own lunch. If you leave a group of teenagers to pick what they eat, chances are they won't choose a balanced meal full of what they need. A good diet is critical to PE, and it seems students have been robbed of it.

Our inside source said:
one of the climbing instructors kept telling a pupil to "check out his mate" and that he and his girlfriend "checked each other out on the rocks all the
Is this really what the Temple Moor staff wants its students to be hearing from 'professionals'? It's doubtful.

Finally, the most shocking revelation of all: staying in the same "dirty rooms" were ex-convicts/young offenders. Not only did many children feel threatened in the presence of criminals, but dormitory doors had no locks - leaving them literally open to the ex-convicts, who could go in and steal pupils' belongings. How's that for safety?

Will the next newsletter or Tempo mention that pupils paid £130 for "dirty rooms and cramped space", along with all the other problems mentioned above? Hardly! Instead, you'll hear about how it was great for "team-building", "self-esteem" but above all, it was "fun". At least you know the truth.